Wise in Grace
The other evening I was meeting with a couple who, along with me, are working their way through a wonderful Gospel-centered book for married (or about-to-be-married) couples.  In the particular chapter we were studying, the author used a certain phrase that caught our attention:
“WISE IN GRACE”
We mulled that over in our minds for a moment, even repeating the phrase aloud as we did so. ¬†We asked ourselves, “What exactly does he mean by this?”
To give you a fair shot at answering the same question, I should give you the context in which it appeared. ¬†The book is entitled When Two Sinners Say, “I Do”: ¬†Discovering the Power of the Gospel for Marriage. ¬†The chapter in which the phrase “wise in grace” appears is the one on how to deal with a spouse in sin. ¬†Comparing confrontation to surgery, the author, Dave Harvey, said: ¬†
To be wise in grace is to see that a well-considered word carefully applied is good medicine. ¬†This is a soul you’re slicing¬†open. ¬†Go very slowly. ¬†Cut very gently.
What does it mean to be “wise in grace”? ¬†Here’s what we came up with, based on the context¬†in which the phrase was used, as well as the biblical¬†concept¬†of wisdom and grace: ¬†it’s applying the truth of Scripture in a constructive way in any given situation through the power of the Holy Spirit.¬†¬†
Notice how the author said that one wise in grace would “see that a well-considered word carefully applied is good medicine.” ¬†Well, how would one “wise in grace” see that? ¬†How would he know that? ¬†He would know this by knowing God’s Word, for that’s what Scripture clearly conveys: ¬†”There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Prov. 12:18). ¬†
So to be “wise in grace,” one must know the Scriptures. ¬†But scriptural knowledge means nothing, if it is not accompanied by love. ¬†Paul told the Corinthians: ¬†”Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up,” and “If I … can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge … but have not love, I am nothing” (1 Cor. 8:1; 13:2 NIV). ¬†If I wield the sword of truth in a reckless, unloving manner, I am not using God’s Word rightly. ¬†After all, “the word of God” is “the sword of the Spirit” (Eph. 6:17), and “the fruit of the Spirit is love” (Gal. 5:22).
In fact, it’s interesting that Ephesians 5:18 says, “Be filled with the Spirit,” and the corresponding passage in Colossians says, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord” (3:16). ¬†So Scripture equates being filled with the Spirit as letting God’s Word dwell in us “richly” (abundantly) in such a way that we teach and admonish one another in a way that exudes grace. ¬†Ephesians 4:29, another great cross-reference, says: ¬†”Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” ¬†This requires wisdom, which is the skillful application of truth in any given situation.
So that teeny-weeny phrase, “wise in grace,” speaks volumes, doesn’t it? ¬†May this quality characterize our dealings with each person the Lord brings across our path, especially those who are of the household of faith (Gal. 6:10).
2 Responses to “Wise in Grace”
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When I learn something, I try to put the concept into my own words. This effort tends to expose flaws in my understanding.
Let’s see. In a marriage, does being “wise in grace” mean “speak the truth in love?” Hmm. That sounds pretty good.
But let’s see. Maybe I don’t know what the truth of a particular situation is. I might see a behavior, and might rashly come to the wrong conclusion. It seems that in a situation like this, before I start speaking some truths to my wife, a more constructive course of action is either to start asking some well considered questions, or be watchful, and gather more information. Sometimes, with people, there may be something that is really troubling them, and it takes a little gentle probing or time before they share it with you.
It seems that it’s also necessary to listen, and not just speak.
Matt, thank you for that spiritually uplifting post!
Eddie, I think that you are correct in your appraisal of biblical pre-reproof investigatory assessments. The author builds up to the phrase “wise in Grace” off of that very foundation.
rushing in and swinging the “sword of reckless verbiage” while blindly steeped in wanton abandon will bring nothing but a chaotic and damaging outcome.
Pastor Matt said it best, “This requires wisdom, which is the skillful application of truth in any given situation”. Implicit within this “skillful application” should be a heart that is slow to speak and quick to listen. What an amazing truth!!